Tag Archives: Summer

Live impressions: The Vineyard

First impression: What are a bunch of amateur actors from LA doing trying to impersonate New England prep schoolers?

Second impression: Pretty bad acting. Scratch that… really bad acting.

Third impression: Are these dudes really qualified to work at the Black Dog? Previous work experience must have included Gilly Hicks and A&F.

Fourth impression: I’m regretting watching this already.

Fifth impression: Get the girl with the cowgirl boots some braces.

Sixth impression: The scrawny blonde has wrinkles and the dude with the beard has grey hair. Yikes.

Seventh impression: The first customer is definitely a producer of the show or an owner of the BD.

Eighth impression: Normal girls who summer on the Vineyard don’t have lips like Angelina Jolie.

Ninth impression: Eerily similar to the Jersey Shore.

Tenth impression: Why are they wearing board shorts?

Eleventh impression: This makes Edgartown look like squid city.

Twelfth impression: The first mom on the show is pretty well casted for the role.

Thirteenth impression: Can’t keep doing this. Should have titled the post “13 reasons not to watch The Vineyard.

Fourteenth impression: I actually have met townies who have gotten tossed from different aquatic service schools. 

Fifteenth impression: How dare they self-proclaim themselves as preppy?!

Sixteenth impression: Haven’t seen anyone force a denim shirt on the Cape and Islands since our Chief Editor WHolley paired one with Versace denim.

Seventeenth impression: If Zuckerberg and Timberlake had a kid, it would be the squid in the denim shirt.

Eighteenth impression: Second mom needs dentures.

Nineteenth impression: Crashing townie parties is a hobby. Now I can relate.

Twentieth impression: Wholley and I do a much better job convincing strangers we know them.

Twenty First impression: The girls sound too much like the Kardashians… make it stop or bring in Lord Disick.

Twenty Second impression: They aren’t called locals in New England, sweetie. They’re townies.

Twenty Third impression: Girl crushes her drink when townie sits down with her. #TotalPowerMove

Twenty Fourth impression: Weak brawl. Weak. Sizzle down, cheeseburgers.

Twenty Fifth impression: Gonna have to live blog this again next week.

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