Hoss dropped the ball. Who’s to blame? It’s not out of character for a freshman to drop the slack at an all boys Catholic school. But, you can’t really blame El Hoss. It’s pretty hard to run the internet’s only prep school website that also doubles as a Deep Web marketplace for gambling away Nantucket estate rights. That’s why I’m back…
With any return, a story is in order.
Some would call this limbo a party and sorority girl induced inception; we like to refer to it as college.
Although your teachers have been preparing you for some mystical extension of our beloved high ceiling halls, it’s best described as a shit show out here. Prep schools charge your parents egregious sums of money, not for academic preparation, but so that you can outwit public-school kids on a day to day basis. While the public schoolers are running late, fumbling with their shitty windsor knots for formal events, us blue bloods are already have executed a perfect dimple, having the luxury of conversing with our dates and theirs about weekends in Kennebunkport and summer trips to the Amalfi Coast. Although most stories are structured with character and plot development, narrative and morals, this one is not. I think we all get the drift.
This is why Twines and Vines is coming out from retirement for the summer. Interning in a cubicle for the summer is JV compared to writing about prep school ongoings from a Harkness table.
We are looking for contributors. If your parents are nagging you to put another internship on your college apps, or you have a true passion for writing about anything pertaining to the prep school lifestyle, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.