Live impressions: The Vineyard

First impression: What are a bunch of amateur actors from LA doing trying to impersonate New England prep schoolers?

Second impression: Pretty bad acting. Scratch that… really bad acting.

Third impression: Are these dudes really qualified to work at the Black Dog? Previous work experience must have included Gilly Hicks and A&F.

Fourth impression: I’m regretting watching this already.

Fifth impression: Get the girl with the cowgirl boots some braces.

Sixth impression: The scrawny blonde has wrinkles and the dude with the beard has grey hair. Yikes.

Seventh impression: The first customer is definitely a producer of the show or an owner of the BD.

Eighth impression: Normal girls who summer on the Vineyard don’t have lips like Angelina Jolie.

Ninth impression: Eerily similar to the Jersey Shore.

Tenth impression: Why are they wearing board shorts?

Eleventh impression: This makes Edgartown look like squid city.

Twelfth impression: The first mom on the show is pretty well casted for the role.

Thirteenth impression: Can’t keep doing this. Should have titled the post “13 reasons not to watch The Vineyard.

Fourteenth impression: I actually have met townies who have gotten tossed from different aquatic service schools. 

Fifteenth impression: How dare they self-proclaim themselves as preppy?!

Sixteenth impression: Haven’t seen anyone force a denim shirt on the Cape and Islands since our Chief Editor WHolley paired one with Versace denim.

Seventeenth impression: If Zuckerberg and Timberlake had a kid, it would be the squid in the denim shirt.

Eighteenth impression: Second mom needs dentures.

Nineteenth impression: Crashing townie parties is a hobby. Now I can relate.

Twentieth impression: Wholley and I do a much better job convincing strangers we know them.

Twenty First impression: The girls sound too much like the Kardashians… make it stop or bring in Lord Disick.

Twenty Second impression: They aren’t called locals in New England, sweetie. They’re townies.

Twenty Third impression: Girl crushes her drink when townie sits down with her. #TotalPowerMove

Twenty Fourth impression: Weak brawl. Weak. Sizzle down, cheeseburgers.

Twenty Fifth impression: Gonna have to live blog this again next week.

3 Comments

Filed under Film & TV

3 Responses to Live impressions: The Vineyard

  1. i know one of the people on the show… she went to tabor

  2. KRS

    #15 impression is spot on. If you are preppy, you keep your mouth shut about it. It’s like class. Either you have it or you don’t, and people can just tell.

Leave a Reply