Category Archives: America

Beach Bonfire Guide

While June 21st is the start of Summer by astrological measurement and the Augustan Calendar, us preps get off to an earlier start. Every Memorial Day Weekend, we break out our whites, seersucker, and pastel prints for the Summer. While we treat this weekend as the beginning of the warmest time of the year, the weather patterns don’t always favor our plans for leisure.

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This past weekend, I was lounging in Chatham with my friends from Pomfret, Groton, Phillips Andover, Westminster, and Nobles. Our most challenging decision involved choosing whether to day drink at Chatham Bars Inn or Wychmere We celebrated our final night in quintessential fashion. While I grilled out for the gals, my friend mixed up some cocktails for overconsumption in the parlor. He is an alumnus of the Harvard School of Mixology and did not disappoint. Following a few stiff rounds, us gents decided to head out and start a bonfire on the beach. What could be a better night cap to the final evening of the weekend?

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Upon collecting fuel for the fire and arriving at the beach, it began to rain. Time was of the essence, and we had limited resources. Naturally, I took charge.IMG_7323

Here is a list of instructions which may help you the next time you are tasked with starting a beach bonfire even if you have limited resources and subpar conditions.

Step 1: Acquire some industrial sized palettes. Preferably of the seafood market variety.

Step 2: Find a secluded beach area. Preferably private.

Step 3: Dig your fire pit.

Step 4: Line the base of your fire pit with sand, rocks, or wet seaweed to prevent your fire from increasing in surface area. You don’t want to burn your beach house unless of course you have a fat insurance policy you can leverage to buy a house with a better view.

Step 5: Collect small sticks, lint, dry seaweed, and newspaper for tinder (not the dating app).

Step 6: Separate tinder to increase surface area and airflow.

Step 7: Place tinder underneath a corner of the palettes.

Step 8: Add a splash of high proof alcohol (Don Julio works like a charm).

Step 9: Collect larger pieces of dry drift wood, logs, or whatever other fuel you can find (private property signs always make for phenomenal fuel).

Step 10: Spark, blow, and watch it grow.

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Other tips:

-Marshmellows roast best on embers, not flames

-Don’t use towels or blankets if it’s raining

-Remember to bring a stocked cooler, but don’t waste all of the Goose on a fire you can start with nautical resources

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Filed under America, Travel

Prep School Grads – Sterling Archer

A few years ago, an American spy satire aired. Archer is a deadly concoction of James Bond’s suave style, plenty of action, and cynical humor. One woman’s douche is another’s prep school grad.

He spent up to 15 years at boarding school, despite American schooling taking 13 years. His hobby was lacrosse, and flashbacks have indicated he had few friends. At age 18, he was regarded as the most recruited lacrosse player in America, although an incident with a crazed stalker gut-shooting him cost him both his lacrosse career and a possible scholarship to Johns Hopkins University (although it is implied this would not have happened anyway because of his poor SAT scores). A picture of Archer in Placebo Effect shows him graduating from Georgetown University, implying he is at least smart enough to receive a bachelor’s degree in an unknown major (although according to his mother, he flunked out of college).

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Filed under America, Film & TV, Lacrosse, Prep School Life

the men of the sea

It had been quite some time since I had gone through my T&V email. Sifting through junk mail and spam offers from that oafish brand chubbies, I  found a diamond in the rough when I received an email from Zeke, a student at BB&N. Zeke is the representative of a clothing line called “men of the sea.” What Zeke brought to my attention was not only another clever example of prep school students swimming against the current, but also another story of a prep school administration oppressing its students and their freedom of expression.

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The story Zeke shared with me begins in the bitter cold month of February on campus. BB&N advertises their dress code as being the 6 B’s (no boobs, back, butt, belly, bra, or boxers). So, surely no students would have been bold enough to have violated these rules. However, shortly after launching his company with his brother, Zeke was called into the Dean’s office. Throughout the school day, the men of the sea had been selling inventory to their classmates. Like a tidal wave, the students of BB&N flooded the campus showcasing their new favorite brand. Coming from the student body, this was a sign of support for their classmates and good taste in an up-and-coming preppy brand. Apparently, some opposed the brand. One could suppose that some students or faculty may have even been looking for an excuse to get Zeke in trouble. But, that is neither here, nor there.

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In the office, the Dean explained to Zeke how he thought the brand was inappropriate because some students had complained to him that they were offensive. Countering the Dean, Zeke argued that the logo could not be deemed inappropriate since sperm is a subject of discussion in mandatory biology and sex-ed coursework. Additionally, BB&N had hosted assemblies on sex and healthy relationships. [Side note: assemblies like these are often used by pubescent preps to make witty sexual wisecracks and are hardly productive educational platforms. Unless of course, you decide to ask the sex-ed expert about the theoretical possibility for a couple to execute the Nantucket Sleigh Ride.]

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Zeke told me this: “To me, this knee-jerk reaction of labeling something you may not particularly like as ‘offensive’ is a disgusting behavior. I questioned whether I could come to him and say a Nike logo was offensive to me and that I wanted Nike banned from the school. He didn’t have a good answer to this other than that it was his judgement call. Sounds pretty tyrannical.” This logic is socially relevant in the war on political correctness today which is one of the reasons why we champion freedom fighters like the men of the sea.

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By March, The Vanguard, a student-run newspaper at BB&N had interviewed Zeke and his brother. An article was composed profiling the boys, their brand, and the administration’s choice to abolish it from campus. According to Zeke, “To further assert the administration’s tyranny and hindering of freedom of expression and speech, the administration did not allow the article to be published.”

Our staff does not agree with many policies made by prep school administrations these days. For example, when The Boss was a senior, he was forced to take down a video of the headmaster breaking up a staged lucha libre fight on halloween or face the threat of expulsion. We want to know your opinion. Should the brand have been banished from campus? Has it been banished from your campus? What do you think?

 

 

 

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Filed under America, Fashion, Interview, Politics, Prep School Life, Swag for the gents

Happy birthday America!

USA Hammock

 

Celebrate America’s independence by kicking back in this hammock by Yellow Leaf!

July 4, 1776.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. 

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